The mixing of religious and non-religious beliefs in an individual.

Still don't understand death

So, funny story. On Friday night I almost died. I was not breathing for approximately 3 minutes. I have no desire to go into the details, but I owe my girlfriend my life. Now I am fairly certain that my heart did not stop, nor my brain activity, and the only thing I experienced was a dream where I really needed to spit. Subsequently, I woke up spitting all over myself, which was lovely. This has not altered my opinions on religion in any way, but then, nothing religious happened. I suppose you could say my living was a miracle, but you could also say it was very lucky, so I will remain an agnostic with very strong leaning towards atheism. That is not really my point though. I have been in a very calm, almost cathartic mood since my experience, and happened to re-read a passage in a book I like very much. R.A. Salvatore is not the most skilled writer ever, but he often prefaces his chapters with a "diary entry" that often elevates him to a much higher status as an author. Some of you may be fans of fantasy novels, and thus may recognize this, but I would like to share it with you. No strings attached; I don't want to argue with anyone over this. I would merely like to share a passage with you that really moved me after my "adventure". I hope you enjoy, and again, I'm not trying to pick any fights. Life really is too short for that.
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I am dying.
Every day, with every breath I draw, I am closer to the end of my life. For we are born with a finite number of breaths, and each one I take edges the sunlight that is my life toward the inevitable dusk.
It is a difficult thing to remember, especially when we are in the health and strength of our youth, and yet, I have come to know that it is an important thing to keep in mind--not to complain or to make melancholy, but simply because only with the honest knowledge that one day I will die can I ever truly begin to live. Certainly I do not dwell on the reality of my own mortality, but I believe that a person cannot help but dwell, at least subconsciously, on that most imposing specter until he has come to understand, to truly understand and appreciate, that he will one day die. That he will one day be gone from this place, this life, this consciousness and existence, to whatever it is that awaits. For only when a person completely and honestly accepts the inevitability of death is he free of the fear of it.
So many people, it seems, stick themselves into the same routines, going through each day's rituals with almost religious precision. They become creatures of simple habit. Part of that is the comfort afforded by familiarity, but there is another aspect to it, a deep-rooted belief that as long

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Permalink Reply by Sidian M.S. Jones on November 7, 2009 at 7:47pm

It's always darkest before dawn.

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Permalink Reply by James S Saint on November 7, 2009 at 9:46pm

"Part of that is the comfort afforded by familiarity, but there is another aspect to it, a deep-rooted belief that as long..."...?

Did you leave something out?

If you are around the age of 30, I could probably tell you what happened, but you aren't likely to believe me and it would only increase the urge toward paranoia. That nearly comatose state is not so uncommon.

One thing that changes those "habits" is the dire urge to have purpose. Once you focus on a purpose for your life, you lose that fear of death as well, along with many other insecurities that tend to accumulate like mold under a wet blanket.

Life is the urge to accomplish. You have to decide of what. That purpose is actually already inborn, so really you have merely to discover what has always been already there and stop defeating it with your instinctive presumptions. Insecurity tempts presumption even more and thus it becomes an escalating trap and a "catch-22" scenario to try to get away from it. But the place to begin, is the attempt to discover or realize the purpose of your life, of any life. Then allow yourself, and even insist, that you be consumed by that purpose. Just make certain that you are accurate in "presuming" it.

In the long run, death has no reign.

]:o)

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Permalink Reply by Phi 214 Lynn Honegger on November 16, 2009 at 2:26pm

Is our purpose truly inborn or does it evolve as we do? This brings me to the question of is our life pre-destined. However, if that is true, then we don't truly have the option of free will.

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Permalink Reply by Roman Kozlowski on November 16, 2009 at 3:47pm

We experience our embodied freedom within (perceived and accepted) constraints.

Pre-determination as anything like a full controlling reality is therefore a delusion.

What to us seems like chaos is in itself is a self-organizing process.

Like momentary drops of rain we eventually return to the lake from where we came.

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Permalink Reply by PH214 Lori T. on November 16, 2009 at 5:06pm

Ima,

The "passage" you chose sounds very close to what Tolstoy went through. He was wondering if there was meaning to life and fought between suicide and living. He chose to live because, he decided that there is a God. Tolstoy said "I returned to the belief that the chief and only aim of my life is to better, i.e., to live in accord with that Will." (Tolstoy in Stewart, p. 70). The Will that he was speaking of was the Will to live because God willed him into this world. So, instead of looking at life as an end to a means, he decided to live knowing God and that made him happy.

Anyway, the passage just made me think of Tolstoy and the examination that the honey that used to make him happy doesn't make him happy anymore, so he had to search for what did make him happy.

I think everyone fears death no matter what their belief is. It's an unknown. How does it feel? Will I go to heaven? Is there a heaven? Is there a hell? Those things scare anyone. It would be nice to not fear death just because it is inevitible.