My experiences in life, and an inventory of my thoughts and actions throughout, has confirmed in my own heart what many of the great teachers have said; the ego state of consciousness cuts me off from the sunlight of the spirit. Fear drives the ego state to all kinds of harmful extremes, to the point where I become a danger to self and others. I, that is the ego "I", create my own miserableness. I quake with fear, grasp and push desperately, and repeat an endless loop of negativity and irrationality in my internal dialogue. Yet within the very core of my being is my spirit, a tiny piece of the Divine, a small flame of the limitless white Light of Infinite Possibility. Clearing away all the dust of the world reveals Tao within me.

It is my heart's desire to return to the Source, to return to Tao. Reflecting on this reveals a stark contrast to my description of this returning to the description offered by certain western doctrines. This is part of my mythos.

I do not believe that this ego state is related in anyway to "original sin". I believe that I was conceived and created perfect. Science reveals more every day of the wondrously complex and fantastically interconnected nature, of not only my own body, but all organisms, ecosystems, and systems both micro- and macrocosmic. The ego consciousness is a necessary part of the growth of the consciousness and spirit on the path of birth, life and eventual return to the Source.

I believe that I face, not the process of overcoming some fundamental flaw or request for forgiveness as to who I am, but rather a return to my own natural state of being. My evidence for this is in all the other living beings on Gaia, who live each day in their natural state, and who create, rather than destroy, ecosystems. There are a few exceptions of viral and other invasive species which, like me in my ego state, take more than they need without regard for others. Thankfully, I have a choice as to what kind of being I shall be.

I agree with many of the ancients who have said that this process of returning requires lots of discipline and hard work. One must practice every day in order to reach the point where normal action is no longer necessary, but one is in the right place and time in the right state of mind (Te) and moving in relative harmony with the surrounding environment.

I believe that many have erred when saying we must constrict our "sinful" urges. This idea of dominating the flesh is manifested on a larger scale with the fallacy that we can somehow dominate or control Nature to our own ends.

I believe there is such a thing as a relaxed wild abandon. The ancient Taoists called this tzu jan, "spontaneous creativity" or the "Natural State". The state one arrives at through mental, spiritual, and physical discipline where method becomes methodlessness. Where one does not act, yet nothing is left undone. Accumulating te, one returns to tao.

It is true that we can refer to this as a cleansing process, as Aldous Huxley, Carlos Casteneda, and others have described. But I see no evidence that requires I ask to be forgiven to initiate this process. Psychologists have shown in studies that guilt is actually a useless emotion, and contrary to popular belief, does little to motivate one to higher aspirations.

The fascinating joy I find in this point of view is that my spiritual teachers are all around me, here and now. If I wish to know how to act I only need look and observe things moving in there natural state. The humble nature of water, which benefits all things without striving. The changing of the seasons which facilitate the birth, growth, death, and renewal of all things. The Chinese ideogram for "Heaven" is a prime example: 天。This is tian, heaven. Here we see the line of the horizon over a human with outstretched arms. Heaven is always above me and Earth is always below me. All I need do is walk between the two. This is walking in the Way. I am not alone, I have nothing to fear, for the worst thing that can happen is that I should die and this is just my natural and ultimate returning to the Source. My return to Tao.

According to the ancient Taoists, I need be concerned with little more that being myself in the present moment in harmony with my surroundings. Oh, and breathe! This is why I find Tao so refreshing!